You will have to excuse me, but this post may be a lot like throw up -
I have all kinds of thoughts/questions just floating around in my mind these days, just spewing out from time to time, so I'm going to attempt to spew them all out right now.
Why does time go by so fast?
If you could turn back the hands of time, what would I do differently? like in parenting?
What would I change, if I could?
Am I ready for this next phase...in my life?
Can one ever be ready? I mean, really?
Does anyone else have questions such as these? This is just a few that I have been pondering.
As a mom, I hope that my children know that I hold them dear to my heart. That no matter what choices they make, good or bad, I won't love them any less. Home is always there, to welcome them in with love & hugs, warm beds and their favorite foods.
Parenting has not always been fun though. Those times of correction, or times when I myself have made a mistake, and have to humble myself to my children, it's tough I tell you. BUT it's necessary, that they see you make the wrong, right! I know I did not do this as often as I needed to!
I hope my girls will have forgiving hearts, because being able to forgive is what will FREE them and will give them peace and joy. Forgiveness means so much more to the one having to forgive, than the one expecting it or accepting it!
Sometimes I wish time could just stop!
I'm having days of mourning it seems.
Having trouble letting go.
I know it's normal, so I've been told.
I'm sad one moment, excited the next.
Oh wait, maybe it's just menopause.
No, I'm not old enough so I'm told. (I don't believe that)
Throw up. Now you understand?
Just so much on my mind.
I am trying to remember what I felt like when I was the one leaving home. I do remember being very excited to be away from my parents and their ways. Wanting so much to develop my own ways, my own life, my own beliefs. I remember wanting to please them, but also, wanting to please myself. I was selfish back then, and it seems, I'm still selfish today.
I've learned a lot in the past 25 years. BUT I know I am just beginning to learn.
When all this stuff is floating around in my mind, I am reminded, that it's just STUFF and even though some of it is important, I need to rely on Christ, each and everyday, to help me through the questions and thoughts of life.
Do you know the words to an old hymn, What a friend we have in Jesus. Here it is if you don't.
What a friend we have in Jesus,
all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
all because we do not carry
everything to God in prayer.
Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful
who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Are we weak and heavy laden,
cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In his arms he'll take and shield thee;
thou wilt find a solace there.
I am human, I am not perfect. I am a sinner and struggle like everyone else, but I love Jesus, and am so thankful for His saving grace! His mercies are new every morning! Lord, thank you, for cleaning up my throw up!
